When looking for success of any kind, there are quite a few things you have to do, and you’ll get more than enough pieces of advice. But probably the single most important thing is the simplest: loving yourself. This is something that drives everything else.
Here’s a roadmap to how being true to yourself and having a true self-love is essential for any success you’ll have.
One of the first things we all need to do when heading toward success is to give ourselves constructive criticism. Find ways to improve and vanquish little flaws that could impede you. Here’s the thing: it’s hard to do this without a healthy self-love. If you love yourself, that means being comfortable with who you truly are. If you’re not there, you’ll be defensive and will resist constructive self-criticism.
Treating Yourself to Success
The reason some people fail is that they may not truly believe they deserve success. It can be a matter of low self-esteem, yet it can also be a matter of having some misgivings about yourself. Letting go of past things you’ve blamed yourself for can be crucial. This puts you on the launch pad for true self-love.
When you love yourself, you start thinking about what you deserve, and you start believing you should be treated to the respect of a good career, a good lifestyle, etc. You’ll then be motivated to work as hard as it takes to get there.
You’ve heard it said that one must love oneself before loving others. You may have heard this from enough experts that you’ve come to believe it—and that’s a good thing. It’s been demonstrated far too many times to doubt.
What does this have to do with success? Well, whatever success you’re driving for requires you to have positive relationships. A person needs moral support; he or she needs advice and cooperation and a favor or two here or there. Really, he or she needs the kind of nutrition that comes from healthy relationships. Without having those fueling you, you’ll succumb to the stress of chasing success. And if you can’t demonstrate love for others, you won’t have the healthy relationships and support you need.
Optimism is key to success. There’s no way to make it through the various pitfalls you’ll encounter if you’re not optimistic, sure that you’ll come out on the other side. Kristin Neff, of the University of Texas at Austin, is a leader in research on self-compassion. She has found that loving oneself, including not beating oneself up for failures, is linked to lower depression and greater optimism.
As you can see, self-love is crucial for success. Optimism is crucial. Forming healthy relationships is crucial. Feeling you deserve success is crucial. And so is being able to make the necessary adjustments. As I hope I’ve demonstrated, these things are all but impossible without the foundation of self-love.
When someone gives you little steps to take for success, be aware that you first have to lay down a foundation to be able to follow those steps. That foundation is self-love!